Izokycev

Once I have opened my eyes I was in the dream world again. “What do I want?” – I asked myself, as I already knew that I could create everything I wanted.

Could I understand more about myself? I decided to try. I started thinking of my childhood and suddenly my mind created a house. It was a beautiful house. I started exploring, but nothing could be found. The supposed home didn’t even have any furniture in it. However as I was on the stairs, going on to the second floor I heard squeaking – like from an old rocking chair. As I was climbing the squeaking noise got louder.

“Hello, is anyone there?” – I screamed.

In a flash I was in the attic compartment of the house. In front of me there was a man in a squeaking old rocking chair. I could not see his face, as he was turned facing the window, which was right opposite to the stairs.

“Hello?” – A bit scared I repeated, but I received no answer.

In another flash I was right behind the man. It was like the chair could hit me, so I decided to go around. Everything suddenly got darker. The sun that was coming through the ceiling cracks and the small window disappeared and was replaced by the frightening shadows of the night. The man was still there.

In a last attempt to grab his attention I repeated for a third time – “Hello?” It was louder, but I didn’t receive any answer again.

As I felt the time is closing in my head started hurting again. I screamed, because of the pain, but there was no reaction from the man. The pain put me to my knees and I was pressing my head with the palms of my hand so hard, I felt I could hurt myself even more, by doing so.

“Daisies! White Daisies.” – That was everything that went through my mind. Then I heard a voice – a loud voice, which sounded like a scream. I could hear it quite clearly – “Please stop! You are hurting me!” It was a woman’s voice. Did I have to do anything with the pain, which this woman was feeling? I could not recall.

And as I was thinking I realized where I was – the attic with the strange man in the rocking chair, which was squeaking. “Squeak – squeak!” – Oh, this sound was hurting my head. And in the moment I thought of my head it came to me – I was not on my knees anymore, nor was my head really hurting.

I felt relieved, but in the same time I felt the fear of the man again. I was standing right behind him and only one touch of my hand could be enough to wake him up. If he was asleep that was.

So I did. As I was right behind him – the rocking chair could almost hit me – I stretched my hand and lowered my body to grab the man by his shoulder.

Then he took hold of my hand. I started pulling myself out, but I couldn’t do so – he was holding too tight. I felt the fear crawl inside my skin. I felt every bone of my body shattering. I was shaking and cold sweat hit my forehead. I tried pulling myself out of the grip again, but I simply couldn’t.

Then everything froze. Could I control the world I am in again? I tried rising the sun up, but I couldn’t. How could I do that the last time anyway, it was just like I knew what I was doing. However now I felt exactly the opposite. The man was still holding my arm, but I knew that if I tried to pull it I would – the grip wasn’t so tight anymore.

The man started speaking – “What’s wrong Damien? Why are you scared?” – The voice sounded familiar. “Only if he turned his head, so I can see him!” – I thought.

And as I was thinking, he turned his head. The cold shivers returned in an instant. But my head started hurting again – so much that I was on my knees again. “But his face – I want to see his face!” My head started spinning and the pain went away. I felt calm and relaxed.

“What’s wrong Damien?” – I heard a voice.

I opened my eyes and in front of me was another gloomy picture – there was a man sitting in a rocking chair. The picture got better and now I could see – this was what I thought to be my psychiatrist. We were in the same cabinet as last time, but I could swear that the rocking chair was a new addition to the set.

“Damien, speak to me!” – He got up from his chair, put his arm on my back and gave me a glass of water – “Drink this. It will make you feel better!”

I drank the water, without knowing what is in it. I just knew that my head was getting better and I could see clearer than ever.

“Thanks!” – I felt the need of saying that.

“Not a problem. After all that is why I am here – to make you know!” – He replied. – “So, what did just happen, explain it to me.”

“I was in a house. A house from my past I think, which I may have called home. I think I was living there as I child, but I cannot remember.” – I stopped for a second – “Daisies! White Daisies!”

“Now, what is that Damien?” – He asked.

“What?”

“About the Daisies, you were saying?”

“Oh, it’s nothing! They just popped up in my mind.”

“Are you sure? Can’t you remember anything about the crash?”

“What crash?” – I felt my blood pressure rising. My heart started beating fast. I knew what he was talking about – I felt it, but I couldn’t recall the details around the feelings.

“Damien, are you all right?”

“You! You are the man in the rocking chair!”

“What are you talking about? I’ve had this chair for ages. You know I love rocking chairs! Come on, you gave it to me!”

“No, last time – there were two chairs – normal ones! I remember it very clearly!”

“Damien, calm down! Let’s sit and talk it out!” – The old man was talking, but my head wasn’t there. Again the Daisies appeared in my head. What is the car crash he mentioned?

Again my head felt like it is exploding. My heart beat went up and I felt a huge pressure inside my brain and skull. I screamed. I closed my eyes and everything went blank again.